


The Boy Who Could Fly

by daintyghosts



Category: All Time Low
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-12
Updated: 2012-09-12
Packaged: 2017-11-14 02:50:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daintyghosts/pseuds/daintyghosts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm going to fly." were the first words the light haired boy had ever spoken to him."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Boy Who Could Fly

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this over a year ago on Livejournal.  
> Please note that it is slightly dark and has been described as "haunting."

"I'm going to fly." were the first words the light haired boy had ever spoken to him.  
Jack could smell the alcohol on his breath as the older boy turned to face him with bloodshot eyes, clutching the bottle in his hands so firmly his knuckles were white.  
At this point, there were no first names shared and no history between the two. Just two teenage boys sat together on an old bench in the deserted park at night.  
Two teenage boys that would become everything to each other, but back then they were no more than strangers.

Looking back, Jack probably should have wondered how things came to be that way. Why they both found themselves there of all places. Though, at the time he probably would have put it down to fate or chance.

***

 

Being friends with Alex meant a lot of things had to be put down to chance. Often his moods would suddenly change without warning or reason. He'd go from the happy, lively boy that Jack liked spending time with to the emotionless boy who's eyes were a window to an empty space void of any feeling. 

He was a thinker. That was a word that Jack would use often to describe his best friend. He'd be talking about something - something intelligent that Jack usually didn't understand, however much he pretended he did - and suddenly his expression would shift into one of deep concentration and Jack was sure that if he leaned in close enough, he'd be able to hear the cogs of his brain cranking and turning.

***

 

School was hard. Jack's teachers were strict and his fellow students were cruel. In his high school, if you weren't popular and you weren't unpopular, you were average and made to feel somewhat unimportant. It wasn't a feeling that Jack was unfamiliar with. He could deal. 

Alex was treated the same. Nobody made an effort to be especially nice to him, but everybody was curious about him. There was just something about Alex that drew people in. Still, nobody ever noticed that anything was wrong back then.  
Jack noticed. Alex told him to mind his own business. He did.

***

School was better than home.  
From the outside, the Barakat's were a picture-perfect family. His parents hosted dinner parties for all their wealthy friends and they'd sit around the grand dining room table eating with the finest silver cutlery and they'd drink expensive wine from the finest glasses and nobody questioned for a moment that anything was wrong in the ridiculous pictures they'd paint for each other. 

As soon as the doors were closed everything changed. His father would continue to drink the expensive wine but instead of using the finest glasses, he'd opt for taking large swigs straight from the bottle. Whatever got him drunk fast enough.

His mother would take off her designer clothing and diamonds and pearls and would cry herself to sleep, wondering how her life had ended up that way. Praying that her husband would pass out downstairs before he could make it upstairs to use her body as a blank canvas to paint a different kind of picture.

Jack would escape at some point during the evening and wind up in Alex's bed drinking vodka out the bottle and putting the world to rights.  
They'd often fall asleep holding each other while tears silently fell. 

***

 

The first time they had sex was awkward and rushed.

The kissing part alone mainly consisted of clashing teeth and too-much-tongue and the sex itself was just as uncoordinated.

The stretch and burn, the muddled rhythm, fumbled touches here and there before they both came together with a cry of the other boys name.  
It wasn't perfect, but neither were they.

Jack fell asleep with a comfortable feeling of warmth, wrapped in Alex's arms.

He woke up alone in a bed that had long since gone cold.

***

Alex's favourite place to go was one of the large, brick bridges that were built across the train line.  
You had to walk through the forest on the edge of town to get to it. There was a slight path trampled down in the long grass where the two boys had ventured there so often.  
Jack had countless scratches on his arms, where he'd been scratched by thorns in just a t-shirt.  
Nobody knew about the bridge. It was their place.

It was mid-September when Alex had brought up flying again.  
They were both wearing jumpers with the hoods up in an attempt to shield their faces from the harsh autumn wind, while they sat on the brick wall, legs dangling over the edge, towering over the train track metres below. 

"What do you think flying feels like?" Alex had asked, before taking another drag of his cigarette.  
"I don't know." Jack had replied with a shrug, "Are we talking superman shit here?"  
"No, I mean the real fucking deal. Imagine yourself souring through the skies, wind in your hair."  
Jack tried to imagine, he really did.  
"I guess." He replied nonchalantly.  
"I'm going to fly. You'll see, Jacko." Alex replied, in a cheerful tone.  
Alex didn't mention it again.

***

 

They had sex for the second time that night, right there on the bridge under the stars.  
Alex didn't hold him this time.

***

"You shouldn't do that, you know." Jack said, pointing to the cigarette Alex was lifting to his lips.  
"Why?" Alex asked, before lifting the object in question to his waiting lips and taking a deep drag before exhaling tiredly.  
Jack watched the smoke spiralling elegantly in the evening air for a moment, considering his answer.  
"It might kill you." He answered finally, looking up into the face of the empty shell that was once his best friend.  
"So would getting hit by a truck," Alex replied, smiling to himself and taking another drag of the cigarette. "But we still cross the road everyday." 

***

 

The first time Mrs. Gaskarth called Jack, it was 4:32am and the dark haired boy was woken up by the obnoxious screech of his ringtone which felt like it was drilling through his brain.  
He sat up as quickly as he could and reached out an arm to his bedside table scrambling around frantically, knocking most of his belongings onto the floor, trying to silence the noise before it woke up his parents in the next room.  
"Jack? Jack, dear?" Came the worried voice of Alexs' mother through the receiver.  
Jack responded with a sleep-jumbled noise, but it didn't sound like Mrs. Gaskarth was listening, anyway.  
"Is Alex with you? He hasn't come home." She continued in the same frantic tone.

***

 

Jack found Alex at the bridge sitting with his legs hanging over the ledge, swinging back and forth like a metronome.  
He noticed a half empty bottle of vodka left laying on the ground but he chose to ignore it. He'd long since learnt that it wouldn't make this any easier.  
Alex didn't turn around or make any reaction, though Jack knew he could hear his footsteps approaching on the hard concrete ground. 

"I'm scared." Was the first thing the older boy said when Jack knelt down next to him silently.  
Jack didn't reply straight away.

If it was anybody else, they'd probably be shocked to hear Alex sounding so afraid. Everybody who knew either Alex or his reputation believed he was fearless.  
Jack was the only person who knew about the holes in the walls that Alex had built around himself. 

"I'm really, really fucking scared. It's like this thing, you know?" Alex said, finally turning to face the younger boy.  
Jack could see Alex had been crying from his red rimmed eyes and the damp tear trials on his wind-bitten cheeks, but he chose to ignore it. He'd long since learnt that it wouldn't make this any easier.

"I know." Jack replied, finally.  
"No, no you don't." Alex replied, voice sounding raw. "But I need you to."  
With that the tears began again, flowing free and fast and Jack didn't know what to do except pull the older boy into his chest and wrap his arms around his shaking shoulders.  
"I know." He repeated quietly over Alexs' sobs. "I know, I know, I know."

The truth was that Alex was right, he didn't know and he probably never would, but he chose to ignore it. He'd long since learnt that it wouldn't make this any easier.

***

 

The second time Mrs. Gaskarth called Jack, it was 2 weeks later and this time Jack knew where Alex was because he was laying in the bed next to him, arm slung loosely around his waist.  
After ensuring her that it was fine for Alex to stay - although, both his parents were unaware - he hung up his phone and turned around to face the older boy and was greeted with a kiss on his forehead. 

"I thought you were asleep." He mumbled to the lighter haired boy, smiling before sighing contently.  
"I was." Alex replied, mirroring the smile.  
"Did I wake you? Sorry."  
"It's okay." Alex replied, leaning forward and placing a chaste kiss onto Jacks' lips.  
"Oh, really?" Jack said, watching as Alex smirked suggestively.  
"Yep." Alex replied, popping the 'p' sound. "There are much better things to do than sleep."  
This time when Alex leaned in, Jack met him halfway.

To say the sex was better, would be an understatement.  
Though, had Jack had known it would turn out to be the last time, he would have paid more attention so he could have savoured every second of it.

***

 

There were lots of things Jack wished he'd known back then. What was going through Alexs' head? What made him act the way he did? And most importantly, how could he have stopped him?

***

 

The morning after Alex had stayed over, Jack had woken up alone.  
"Fuck." He muttered to himself.  
It felt disgustingly familiar as he crawled out from underneath what now felt like tainted sheets and stood up stretching his arms above his head. 

It was when he was taking a shower, attempting to wash last night from the pores of his skin that he decided he was sick of being treated like shit, he didn't deserve it and he didn't have to put up with it. Not anymore. 

He didn't speak to Alex for over a week after that.

***

 

The first three times Alex called in the early hours of the morning over a week later, Jack ignored his phone.  
By the fourth time, he answered with a short, sharp "what?"  
"Jack, Jacko, it's me. I need to see you. Please let me see you." He sounded desperate. Good.  
"Alex, I'm sleeping."  
"Please, I need you, please." The older boy begged.  
Jack could hear the wind whistling in the background and knew where Alex was.  
"Jack, fuck, just come here. Please. No, now, Jack." He wasn't making any sense and it was a reminder to Jack of just how complicated the older boy was.  
He was done with complication. He hung up the phone.  
He didn't have to do whatever Alex said.

***

 

It was around an hour later when Jack finds himself standing at the opening of the forest, looking at the back of the boy stood on the ledge of the bridge that the pair knew so well.  
He walked over to the ledge and climbed up, not looking at the boy next to him. 

"Remember when I asked you if you thought about what flying feels like?" Alex finally said, breaking the silence.  
"Yes." Jack answered quietly, looking down into the darkness below, imagining he could see the train tracks but knowing the darkness and distance both meant he couldn't.  
"I don't want to imagine anymore, Jacko."  
Jack could feel the threatening prickle of tears in his eyes.

"We could do it together, you know. Me and you." Alex continued.  
"No."  
"Why not?" Alex asked, turning to face him. Jack didn't look up.  
"I love you." He whispered.  
"I love you, too." Alex replied, reaching out and lifting Jacks' chin so the younger boy was looking square at him. "I mean it."

In that moment Jack realises that he does mean it. He believes what Alex is saying because he's close enough to see the sincerity in his best friends' tear-filled eyes. 

Alex reached out and held Jacks' hand in his own before he leant forward and placed a soft kiss on the younger boys chapped lips.  
"Me and you, Jacky." He whispered, just loud enough for Jack to hear. "Forever."  
And when Jack hears the unmistakable sounds of metal-on-metal and sees the bright train headlights fast approaching from the distance he struggles to think of anything else he'd rather do. 

He keeps his eyes locked to Alexs' as the older boy leans forward and whispers into his ear.

" _Let's fly._ "

**Author's Note:**

> [Click here to read it/ comment over on Livejournal](http://alltimemillie.livejournal.com/2899.html)


End file.
